Letting Go

When people with OCPD put their heart into something, they don’t just try hard… they lay down their entire life for it. Although such devotion makes a difference in the world, it also makes it that much more devastating when things do not work out, so devastating that the disappointed OCPDer vows never to give his or her heart again in such entirety. Consequently, people with OCPD become increasingly more like regular people who just “try” hard rather than give their all.

More than anyone else, it is of utmost importance that those with OCPD let go of their painful past in order to be who they are meant to be.

In every OCPDer’s past, he or she once believed in something or someone with all of his or her heart. He or she literally gave 100% of energy (tunnel vision) that can possibly come out of the human body and mind, only to be left with nothing (all-or-nothing thinking) but deep lasting pain.

For most people with OCPD, this pain acts as a reminder to them to never (all-or-nothing thinking) give 100% again. While others let go of their past, people with OCPD find it logical to hold onto it.

In the end, people with OCPD give only a fraction of their entire self to the things in their life now while the other remainder dwells in their past. They lose one of their strongest qualities that sets them apart from everyone else.


  • You are a fighter, an overcomer – the hardest things in life that most people cannot handle can happen to you and you can fight through it
  • You are a champion of freedom


Understand that your guardedness is hurting the people around you. It is unfair that you apply onto them the same mistrust that you would have applied onto the scumbags of your past. They are different people! Do not tell them that they need to be more perfect. If you are unable to give 100% of your heart, do not give others the impression that they have 100% of your heart in the first place – that’s like giving someone an elaborately wrapped gift that is empty inside. Give them some credit for loving you despite how little you give back to them.

Understand that your OCPD friend is one of the most emotionally broken people on this planet. He or she is afraid to open his or her heart again, no matter how much of a trustworthy person you prove yourself to be. You do not need to be any more perfect. Instead, he or she really needs to let go of his or her past. But telling your OCPD friend that that is what needs to be done will not go too well. You can help your OCPD friend get to that conclusion by asking leading questions.

As long as you believe that your attachment to the past is protecting you, you will not be able to let go. You must first understand the fallacy in holding onto your past. It is holding you back from being who you are meant to be. You are meant to be someone who gives 100%! Forgive yourself for misplacing your efforts in the past and forgive others who have wronged you in the past. Be the hyper passionate person that you have been designed to be!

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4 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Love the way you have tips laid out here: some for the OCPD’r, and some to help their partner understand him/her better. In fact, this whole blog looks like you gave it 100%. ;-)

  2. Greg Loukas says:

    Badda bing badda boom. GReat blog.

  3. social says:

    This really answered my problem, thank you!

  4. What I dislike about the idea of letting go is how ambiguous it is and how there is nothing that I can mentally do to hasten the process.
    This gives me the idea, that it might be another truism like “fake-it-till-you-make-it”.The lateral, in my opinion, being a behavioristic approach of desensitization, where you put yourself out there by force and gradually you start to notice, that it’s not as bad as you feared it is. Works well with arachnophobia, but is insufficient for building boundaries. It seems like a very masochistic approach.
    Letting go reminds me of “dealing with it”. Ordinary people often seem to learn to avoid painful experiences and they build a life of going around obstacles. I have witnessed it on many occasions and am not charmed by it. Letting go, as I understand it, means allowing yourself to be hurt in the same manner once again, except that this time, you are more mature and will probably be able to deal with the problem. (It would make sense to protect a broken arm as long as it hasn’t healed yet. In the same way, I think, people protect their injured/insufficient parts of the psyche by holding on to memories of how the hurt happened).
    I understand that this is my OCPDish desire to control my surroundings combined with time management, as it seems wasteful just to sit around and wait for a cure, but it god damn works :P

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