“The Gift of OCPD” is a self-help blog for

  • People with OCPD seeking full recovery, not just symptom control
  • Loved ones of sufferers of OCPD seeking to understand OCPD and learn how to be more supportive, not more critical
  • Gifted adults and parents of gifted children seeking to understand the emotional needs that come with being highly sensitive
  • Regular people who enjoy closely examining their emotions, thoughts, and behaviour for the purpose of improving their emotional well-being

My name is Daniel Kim and I am a recovered OCPDer. I have always been a very emotional person who feels everything so intensely. Not knowing how to handle my intense emotions and thoughts growing up, I did all the “wrong” things (when I say “wrong,” I am not trying to frame OCPD as a moral problem, but I am simply referring to those responses that end up worsening my emotional well-being in the long run). It was only when I hit “rock bottom” (hopeless, depressed, self-harming, suicidal, bedridden, broken hearted, isolated, unable to work, moneyless, addicted) that I realized I needed to change how I respond to my intense emotions and thoughts. In two years, I went from being emotionally impoverished to being full of joy.

I do not want others to have to go through the pain that I went through. In my past, I did some terrible things and hurt many people. No one understood that, beneath all my hurtful ways, I carried so much hurt, brokenness, and insecurities. Many people judged, rejected, and criticized me. This only worsened my condition. The thing that really turned things around for me was love. When I felt so unlovable and unacceptable for my ways, good people gave me unconditional love and acceptance. When I felt so worthless, good people looked at me and listened to me as if I was full of beauty and wonder. Having been on the receiving end of both judgment and love and personally experiencing much greater results with the latter, I am a big supporter of extending unconditional love and understanding to those who behave in hurtful ways, no matter how twisted and evil their crimes are (in this VLOG, I even help others understand Elliot Rodger, 22-year-old college student responsible for the 2014 Isla Vista killings). I write, speak, and counsel, not out of a place of detached superiority, but out of a place of empathy and care.

Why labels?

Although the letters “OCPD” may be written all over my website, it is not because I believe in labelling people. I do it for search engine optimization purposes.

“The Gift of OCPD” has been shared by American Mensa (the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world), doctors, and professors.


26 thoughts on “About

  1. Grey says:

    Dear Mr. Kim,

    Please do write more. I find I can connect with every single word you write. Having being diagnosed two days ago, I am now finding every possible article on how to do OCPD right. Unfortunately, all other articles found here on the net appear very psychiatric and medical in nature. Only yours shed light on how we can handle this better, set in a light-hearted and less threatening manner. Thank you very much.

    Fellow OCPD Superhuman

  2. Nick says:

    I was married to an OCPD person for one year after a brief courtship… It was a second marriage and we each brought children to the marriage. We got divorced last Summer. It took me 8 months of married life to figure out the source of her issues (OCPD), and the numerous therapists that we went together all missed it. I too had looked on the internet for practical information during the last vestige of my marriage to an OCPDr. I wish I would have come across a blog such as yours last year. It might have made a difference!

  3. Christina says:

    So glad I discovered this website upon a tunnel vision search for guidance on how to unchain myself from OCPD. Every part of your site is is spot on and it is nice to see the positive side of this, at times, disabling hypersensitivity!

  4. Hanan says:

    I just wanted to thank you for your amazing blog, it has helped me a lot!! No one really understands whats it like to have OCPD, even doctors can’t seems to get it.
    But you have described how I feel exactly, “which is scary cause no one seems to understand how my brain works” LOL.
    I have read everything you wrote and cannot wait to read your upcoming posts =)

    Thanks again.

  5. your site is a gift to me, as my dayghter ( 32 yrs ), unmarried and unemployed is OCPD, and I need to help her.

  6. iza says:

    Hi Kim, I just wanted to thank you for this site!
    it’s such a great idea, I’ve just been “diagnosed ” OCPD today and your website is a great support!
    thanks a lot, hope you’ll keep on posting!
    best wishes from France ;)

  7. Roy says:

    How can I get OCPD?

    I want this now!

  8. Ky says:

    Daniel, I am so encouraged by your blog, and at this moment your danthology is putting a huge smile on my face. I have been very distressed this week because, in the midst of research I was doing online with regard to my marriage problems, I discovered that I have OCPD and it is really damaging my relationship with my wife.

    All the information I have found about OCPD has been very upsetting EXCEPT for your blog.

    Thank you so much. All best to you, brother.


  9. Angela says:

    Mr. Kim,

    You are amazing! I’ve only just begun reading your site and everything you explain is exactly right. After several years of not seeing a therapist, I started seeing a new one for my anxiety. I’ve had OCPD for many, many years and didn’t even know it. I was not upset when this was discussed though, I was happy to know why I am the particular way I am. And I love it! I’ve made so much progress towards working out the difficulties it has caused in my life and haven’t been happier! It makes me feel like I get the best of both worlds, if you know what I mean by that. I’ve bookmarked your site and look forward to visiting often.

    Thanks for the smiles!


  10. Angela says:

    I’d also like to add that I’ve always felt as if there was ‘something’ else about me other than having anxiety. I could never put my finger on it and hadn’t heard of OCPD, though I’ve read so much about psychology. I also knew that OCD didn’t quite fit me either. For some reason I had never came across it. My last semester in college, which I just finished, I took Abnormal Psychology as an elective. Funny thing is, my therapist brought it up to me about a month before we covered it in class. So in the end, I found it refreshing to learn this about myself and have read so much about it since. I just love your blog!

  11. ezuhaib says:


    I’m a physician and have a fair understanding of psychology (and psychiatry). I have always disagreed to the way OCPD got classified as a disorder. The disagreements reached a point when I stop referring to the scientific texts on OCPD and started digging into my mind on my own. This experience turned out to be disturbing as mind is so enigmatic yet I was so obsessed of unraveling its patterns..

    I have known your blog for quite some time. I used to be skeptical of it. But now that I believe that our own experiences, as obsessive perfectionists, are more useful than current science in learning ourselves… I now absolutely love your blog. It makes sense. It makes sense so much that I’ve quit searching for words to translate concepts that have been hanging in my head for a long time.

  12. Samer Harb says:

    hi daniel l really love al ur work its soooo amazing and i wonder if u told me about how u create great mix like i doo plz can u tell me ?

  13. Priya says:

    Your blog is hope and strength for me. Thank you very much for writing all articles in a positive note. I love your work.

  14. Please turn your articles into a book. Your insights are very useful to anyone with OCPD. Thanks.

  15. Genna says:

    Thank you so much for everything that you post here. It’s so comforting to come to a site that explains everything that I have always experienced. It is an incredible feeling to see my insane thoughts and behaviours in writing. Yes, i am crazy, but the craziness has a name! Your site has helped me in so many ways. I cannot thank you enough. Keep up the great work.

  16. Noely says:

    I only just stumbled on your blog, and I find the content of the highest quality. Thank you!

  17. Joyce says:

    I am overwhelmed by the emotions I feel when I read your blog. I love it. I am so thankful that you wrote it. I also have OCPD, but my MBTI is ENFP. I am not sure if being an ENFP fits with your view of OCPD, but I love your blog regardless. I think you are amazing and wish you all the best.

  18. Omar says:

    Having a bad day. My Ocpd is in full gear , but reading your blog gave me hope and some energy to keep on. Thanks.

  19. Wilder says:

    In my OCPD husband’s case it is not a quest for excellence, it is a quest to always have his way. Even if his way is destructive and doesn’t produce the results he wants. It just had to be his way or else. He has tantrums like a 5 year old who wants the cookie now, and is frighteningly abusive. There’s a real dark side to OCPD.

  20. Jade says:

    Hi, I am suddenly learning about OCPD after having a major substance abuse problem that escalated into a rapid spiraling downward of my professional life/personal life, followed by a nervous breakdown (which I realized has been caused by my OCPD). It’s only been a couple of days, but I’m learning now that all of this was NOT directly caused by the drug/alcohol problem, but the root of it and how I chose to deal with it. I would like to learn more about substance abuse problems with OCPD, because I genuinely feel that I used them to “force” myself into losing control – couldn’t do it on my own. And I’m sure there are others out there like me.

    At first I wanted to email or post asking if there was a certain way to be able to view everything on the site in order, because I didn’t want to miss a single page or read it in the wrong order. Then I realized that it was just my OCPD-self thinking that and kind of laughed :) Still learning a lot about it but I’m glad I’m at least able to laugh about these things now that I can see them. Always thought that was somewhat normal behavior. Next step is to learn more so I can develop strategies to channel it.

    So thanks again for creating this!!

  21. Emma Rose says:

    What a fantastic blog. So courageous of you! I follow your blog now, and I cant thank you enough for being so transparent and genuine! If your interested I would love for you to check out my blog about living with OCPD and mental illness

    http://wp.me/p445Fd-Q <—–Perfectly Obsessed

  22. Jennifer says:

    Thank-you for your blog; I love your perspective from this “About” section, and look forward to exploring the rest of it. I have OCPD traits and (unlike most, from what I’ve read) am both aware of it and really want to change. It is slow going but I feel optimistic. Your blog will help me to keep focused on the RIGHT things like kicking my OCPD in the butt and enjoying life!!! Versus the wrong things (the current obsession that usually sucks up all of my time and energy). It will be nice to hear your perspective on OCPD. Thanks for writing!

  23. anonymous says:

    Hey Daniel, you mention “good” people in your above article and in your Christian OCPD blog post you do mention God as well as His son Jesus, just pointing that out because some people believe in God but not His Son and some people believe and worship god or god’s (meaning they do not worship the same God that I worship but nevertheless they worship what they consider to be god) and I say that with total respect for anyone who has a belief system other than my own. They by all means have that right just as I have the right to believe what I believe. Just for future reference and anyone who may read this in the book of Luke 18:18,19 it is written : “A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered.” No one is good—-except God alone.” Jesus Christ who was the Son of God and a perfect man with no sin was himself saying that only God is good. That’s pretty heavy stuff. So I prefer to use the word or phrase “nice people” so that scripture is not broken. There are no “good” people on earth. We may be kind hearted, caring, or evil and mean but none of us are “good” I actually point that out to people constantly, not out of being a picky, detailed oriented person but pointing out flaws unbeknownst to most people….it’s out of love spreading scripture correctly. If we are not aware of something then we cannot change it. People tell me quite often “You are such a good person.” And I immediately tell them NO, I am one of the biggest sinners you have ever met, but my goal is to be nice. Why take “grace” out of your headline? Ephesians 2:8 “For it is by grace you have been saved , through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Just curious is all.

    • Daniel Kim says:

      We humans, “created… in His own image,” reflect different amazing traits of God, the champion of excellence, love, goodness, etc. Even if we, merely as reflections, fall short of God’s perfect standards, how do you come to the conclusion that we should not say people are “good”? I will continue to say to someone who reflects God’s goodness, “You are a good person.” I will continue to say to someone who reflects God’s excellence, “You have got so much excellence in you.” I believe doing so is not only proclaiming truth but also an important act of worship which pleases God. What if those people who are saying “You are such a good person” are saying that because God wanted to say that to you and God happened to choose these people to communicate that to you? How do you then feel about saying “NO”? If it was God saying that to you, would you say “Thank you” instead?

  24. anonymous says:

    Your question: “How do you come to the conclusion that we should not say people are good?” I did not come to that conclusion. Those are the words of Jesus Christ as stated in Luke 18:18,19. He also did not come to that conclusion on his own as we can see in John 14:24, “These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.” And again Jesus speaks in John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it.” And again Jesus speaks in John 12:50: “So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” I am simply following sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ as stated in 1 Timothy 6:3 “If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, (4) he is conceited and understands nothing.” Jesus Christ who was a perfect man would not even allow someone to call him good without pointing out that only God alone is good. I simply do the same thing based on the sound instruction of my Lord. I don’t shout or scream at people lol, it’s gentle and when the holy spirit instructs me to reveal that particular aspect of scripture to someone, I do. I am gentle and kind about it. I don’t go around listening to different conversations and pop up suddenly and say,” HEy!! Did you just say she was a good woman? Huh, did you? Shame on you for saying that.” Lol, no….that’s not how it works:) If you or anybody else want to tell people they are good and have a different perspective that’s fine, I’m used to practically everyone having a different perspective than me, but I’m keeping my belief while still respecting others. One last thing, God would not tell someone to say something to someone else that would go against what He told His son to say as we see in the above scripture, so He would not tell someone to tell me I’m good. Sweet or nice maybe but not good. That would be going against His own word.

  25. Anne says:

    Although they are undiagnosed I have several family members who appear to have personality disorders. They include my own parents and my mother in law who -wow- meets the “textbook” definition of OCPD. I have been reading a lot about these extreme personalities in order to know how to cope with them. I seek not to judge or condemn, but rather to find strategies on how to make interactions mutually beneficial.
    Thank you for your insights. I will incorporate them as I try to stand in their shoes.

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