About Me

BIOGRAPHY

My name is Daniel Kim and I am a 29-year-old Korean-Canadian from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Daniel Kim

I was born an extremely sensitive child (both my parents are highly sensitive people). For how young I was, I should not have been able to catch the subtle details that I included in my drawings. I also learned faster and performed better than most other children my age. Growing up, I had no shortage of compliments. All the compliments that I received, however, were always tied to how well I performed. From an early age, I learned that my performance determines my value as a person.

My sensitivity also caused me to experience intense emotions all my life. Although I had full freedom to feel and express my positive emotions, my stoic parents who have difficulty handling their own negative emotions did not exactly create the safest environment for me to feel and express my negative emotions. Consequently, I grew up feeling emotionally abandoned by my parents. I became fearful of my negative emotions, especially those associated with feelings of inadequacy. I taught myself to combat those feelings of inadequacy in the only way that I knew how to create self-worth… performance. When my negative emotions did manage to come out, most people around me, both at home and outside of home, made me feel wrong to think and feel what I thought and felt. The continuous invalidation of experiences that were so real to me caused me to feel extremely lonely.

In order to distract myself from this loneliness, I kept myself busy for most of my life. I worked hard and performed well in school. I studied business in university, majored in marketing, and specialized in design and brand identity development. I worked mostly in the broadcast media and entertainment industry as a media and marketing specialist, and sometimes as an entertainer. I traveled to 35 countries all over the world and lived in four.

When being busy was not enough to distract me from the pain of my loneliness, I began to experiment with other forms of escape. I became addicted to them and hurt not only myself, but also my loved ones.

At the age of twenty-six, I was dual diagnosed with both giftedness and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. I did everything in my power to overcome my OCPD.

After a year full of therapy, forgiveness, healing, and prayer, I recovered from so many of the things that made me want to end my life. I re-parented myself and learned that my value is not something that I must create through my performance, but something intrinsic that has always been a part of me, something that can never be taken away, no matter how poorly I perform. I learned that I have incredible value just the way I am.

This journey has helped me recognize my heart’s desire to celebrate people’s differences, to help others who are struggling with hurt, anxiety, loneliness, addictions, and feelings of inadequacy, and to help others communicate with one another more sensitively so that their loved ones may feel more heard and understood.

I am a multipotentialite who is still trying to figure out what to do with his life. Despite the fact that it has been a curse for most of my life, I am learning that my greatest strength is my natural ability to empathize with others. I hope to master this gift and use it together with my passion for family, marriage, and parenting.

PLAYLIST

Lists? Yes, I like making lists. Here’s a list of my top ten favourite songs:

  1. Franz Schubert – “Ave Maria” (solo by oboe and pizzicato accompaniment by string quartet – I once experienced a live performance of this particular arrangement in Munich and I felt like I was ready to die because I knew I had just heard the most beautiful sound in the world)
  2. Koji Kondo – The Legend of Zelda (Soundtrack) – “Great Fairy’s Fountain” (Orchestral Arrangement)
  3. Nicola Piovani – La Vita è Bella (Soundtrack) – “Buon Giorno Principessa
  4. Nino Rota – The Godfather (Soundtrack) – “Speak Softly, Love” (Orchestral Arrangement)
  5. Tchaikovsky – “Valse Sentimentale
  6. Michael Giacchino – Up (Soundtrack) – “Married Life
  7. Claude Debussy – “Clair de Lune
  8. Joe Hisaishi – Howl’s Moving Castle (Soundtrack) – “Merry-Go-Round of Life
  9. Andres Linetzky & Ernesto Romeo – “Sentimientos
  10. Astor Piazzolla – “Libertango

Here’s a list of my top ten favourite movie scenes:

  1. Dark Knight Rises – Ending
  2. Blood Diamond – “A Good Boy” (Father and Son Scene)
  3. Toy Story 3 – “Andy Gives Away His Toys” (Ending Scene)
  4. Life is Beautiful – “Buongiorno Principessa!” (Meddling with Concentration Camp P.A. System)
  5. X-Men: First Class – “Rage and Serenity” (Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr Scene)
  6. John Q – “Final Goodbye” (Father and Son Scene)
  7. Kung Fu Panda 2 – “I Am Po” (Inner Peace Scene)
  8. Rocky – “It Stinks!” (Mickey Offers Rocky to be his Manager)
  9. Good Will Hunting – Park Scene
  10. A Beautiful Mind – “Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech

PICTURE PERFECT

Photography is one of my many hobbies that gets affected by my OCPD. I do not take a lot of photos. But when I do, it has to be perfect.

More than the average camera user, I take my time to plan, align, balance, frame, and light my shots before finally taking a photograph. Even on vacations, I try to match my clothing with the background. In areas that are known for attracting crowds of tourists, I sometimes wake up at ridiculous hours to avoid other tourists contaminating my work.

For photos of myself, there is only one other person that I can trust to shoot me the way that I want myself to be shot… my tripod. But sometimes, for security reasons, I am not allowed to take my tripod along with me. I am then forced to ask somebody else to take my picture. I look around for someone carrying an expensive professional camera because it makes logical sense to me that such a piece of equipment would be carried by a skilled photographer. I finally find someone who fits the description, request for my picture to be taken, and nine times out of ten, I am disappointed with their results.

So here are some travel photos taken by me and my tripod :)

Skógarfoss

Skógarfoss waterfall, Iceland

Vík í Mýrdal

Vík í Mýrdal, Vestur-Skaftafellssysla, Iceland

Jökulsárlón

Jökulsárlón Glacier Lagoon, Iceland

Dettifoss

Dettifoss waterfall, Iceland

Sunset in Iceland

Farm near Húsavík, Sudur-Tingeyjarsysla, Iceland

Blue Lagoon

The Blue Lagoon, Grindavik, Iceland

Horses in Iceland

Hvalfjarðarsveit, Iceland

Deadvlei, Namib-Naukluft Park, Namibia

Sossusvlei, Namibia

Dune 45, Sossusvlei, Namibia

Fish River Canyon, Namibia

Table Mountain, Cape Town, South Africa

Marina Bay, Singapore

Turtle Beach, Pulau Perhentian, Malaysia

The Great Wall, Mutianyu, China

Travertine Terraces, Pamukkale, Turkey

Göreme, Cappadocia, Turkey

Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia

Halong Bay, Vietnam

Halong Bay, Vietnam

Hoi An, Vietnam

 Hong Kong, China

Dream Beach, Lembongan, Indonesia

Sunrise Peak (Seongsan Ilchulbong), Jeju-do, South Korea

Ko Phi Phi, Thailand

Maya Bay, Ko Phi Phi Leh, Thailand

Lomadee, Ko Phi Phi, Thailand

The Taj Mahal, Agra, India

Ganges River, Varanasi, India

Baga Beach, Goa, India

 Jaipur, India

 Gordes, France

Sault, France

 

 Pont d’Avignon, Avignon, France

 Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Oia, Santorini, Greece

 Placa Stradun, Dubrovnik, Croatia

Ponte Vecchio, Florence, Italy

 

 Venice, Italy

Venice, Italy

 

Piazza San Marco, Venice, Italy

Swiss Alps, Switzerland

The Pyramids, Giza, Egypt

The Black Desert, Egypt

Desert, Egypt

Mount Sinai, Egypt

MATHEMUSICIAN

Music is a very mathematical art form that has much structure and order to it. My OCPD helps me arrange music in an orderly fashion when I mix music together. In the club or at a DJ concert, I am sensitive to imperfect beat matching, off-key mashups, and inefficient transitions. During the first week of December 2012, I became a viral hit all over the world for one of my musical arrangements (“Pop Danthology 2012″). The original video (below) has over 40 million views (over 50 million total views if you count the views on all the copied versions of my video as well).

“Pop Danthology 2012″

 —

OBSESSIVE SONGWRITING

No one taught me how to compose or produce music. My OCPD just helps me pick up patterns in the music that I listen to, it helps me understand what combination of sounds work well together, and it helps me figure out how to use complex music production software programs that are built in a logical manner.

“Feel So Alive”

“Fairy Tales”

STRUCTURED STORYTELLING

“Calculove”
(my first short film that I wrote, directed, produced, edited, and scored)

42 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Michael says:

    Your pictures are amazing!

  2. YC says:

    wow, is there anything you can’t do? Love your tripod photos, just amazing!

  3. hikaribelle says:

    Wow, I love your photos!!! Incredible.

  4. charmaineyip says:

    Incredible profile and your photos are gorgeous. Congratulations to all your success and what you have done with your life. I’m so inspired. Don’t give up – ever!

  5. Jae says:

    Hi i was wondering where you studied business/marketing and why you chose that major

    • Daniel Kim says:

      I got my B.Comm and marketing major at UBC. I chose business straight out of high school because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I wish I did psychology.

      • Jaewon James Suh says:

        Daniel Kim. My name is Jaewon Suh (James). I wish to speak to you immediately because I believe that by some divine intervention I stumbled upon your website without knowing how but I have heard of you through mutual connections and God is here telling me you are very much like me and I would like to get in touch with you God bless.

      • Doha Mohamed says:

        True OCPD Feeling…………

  6. Daniela says:

    Omg, you’re so pretty! <3

  7. Anastasia says:

    Wow, you are so talented! Love your pictures and mash-ups, especially Pop Danthology 2012 :) I think you are also a very courageous and kind man, having won all the battles you had and overcome the obstacles on your way. It’s amazing that you created a web-site like this telling people that OCPD is not a disease, it can be a gift if you use it right. I’m sure your site helped many people with OCPD to become more confident, but you also helped people like me to see the insight of this kind of “disorder”. Your story is trully inspiring, thank you for that!

  8. Antonio says:

    I can’t find any word to describe your ‘musical work of art’… You are SO SO talented! You dance, sing, take perfect shots, write songs, make amazing mashups…. I didn’t know too much ’bout OCPD before I read what you wrote here, but I’m sure you are a modern genius. Big fan from Brazil :)

  9. Neil says:

    Hi, Mr. Daniel! I just wanna say Thank You! for making people happy. I don’t know why but I’m so hyped whenever I hear “Pop Danthology 2012″. Me and my friends always play this mash-up everyday, even inside our classroom. We always sing this that we have almost memorized it! It was so beautiful and it’s like a work of a genius! Great job, Mr. Daniel! I’m so proud of you! I wish I can meet you in person… someday! HAHAHA, but it was only just a dream, as a particular song says. Keep up the great job and don’t lose hope, Mr. Daniel! Bye!

  10. Neil says:

    You know what, when I heard the “Pop Danthology 2012″ for the first time, I was really amazed by this. It was like “I wanna know who made this!” Actually, I heard this mash-up when I was watching a late-night news. After watching this, I browse YouTube the next day, and that was the day when I was slowly hooked-up with this creation! It was so incredible! I hope that you can still make such an amazing creation! God bless, Mr. Daniel! This is Neil! An avid fan of yours from the Philippines! :)

  11. james Mo says:

    hello Daniel,

    I am so grateful that I stumbled upon your blog and your music tonight. First of all, thanks for all the articles and works, I extremely appreciated all of that.
    It is both a nice surprise and shocking that I learned so much more about myself after reading your articles. It is just the perfect timing as I am going thru a little difficult time at the moment. And I like the way you write, so calm, clear and easy to understand.

    Thank you so much for your articles and your music. Please keep up the excellent works. I will keep coming back for more.

    ps. I have no talent in writing music but I do writes lyrics in English, Cantonese and mandarin for my friend’s.

  12. Erin says:

    Dear Daniel,

    I found your blog while doing a search for OCPD resources. I want to say thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Please keep doing so!

    I am dating a person who I believe has undiagnosed OCPD (I’m not a professional, I may be wrong, but I see many thing in his life that line up with OCPD). I’m trying very hard to understand him. Right now things are difficult because (in my opinion), his OCPD is getting in the way of our relationship moving forward (ie, he hasn’t proposed yet, although he keeps saying he will and has a ring for me, but every time he tries to he really has a breakdown and gets so afraid that he can’t do it). I am unsure if he will be able to overcome this fear and move our relationship forward.

    I just want to say thank you because I am searching for things to help ME–to know who he is, know how to encourage him, know what he needs, and know what not to do. Please keep sharing. Right now he knows some things in his life are not healthy, but he usually tries to figure them out/improve them on his own. He has made good progress! I hope that one day he will come to a greater understanding of who he is, and I hope your blog is a part of that.

    Grateful for your sharing :-)

    Erin

  13. Najin says:

    Hi Daniel,

    What started as curiosity about your new mix (through YouTube) ended with me spending a lot of time reading through your blog and reading your articles! Firstly, I really appreciate the balance between logic and empathy through your writing (it can’t be an easy feat, considering!). I’m inspired to see that you’ve found an outlet for your thoughts/exploration while also providing others with an invaluable resource!

    As someone who doesn’t have OCPD, I think you offer valuable insight to a broader audience than you might have originally intended (e.g. your articles on communication, creativity) and just want to say kudos to that.

    I also really commend the non-invasive way you suggest faith as a viable alternative to dealing with OCPD & how you’re bold enough to share that.
    Blogging about my faith has always been touchy for me…not because I’m ashamed, but because I know the twisted ways people can misconstrue what is said about God and I would feel violated having such a personal part of me be ‘attacked’ that way (by strangers on the internet, no less!). I would rather present my faith in the most logical, empathetic way possible–and I guess I felt as if blogging couldn’t possibly encompass all that (unless I blogged night and day justifying myself). At the end of the day…I suppose it’s not our responsibility to control the way other people think, is it?
    Maybe I should consider that.

    Thanks for eliciting these thoughts Daniel & please keep doing what you’re doing!
    Najin :)

  14. I like your musix, you can tag your musix to my website

  15. Jessica Lu says:

    Hey Daniel! Your blog(s) may be one of the things that I love to read other than the never ending list of books I would probably never finish reading. One of the questions I have is how did you find out you had OCPD? I read a few of the traits that one would have, and I felt that fell into many of the categories. Looking at my notebooks and my paper, there is always white out, my erasers are used up so quickly; my classmates labeled me perfectionist. I am not the perfectionist that would be able to get straight As, but knowing that my papers, notebooks and etc. were so neat made me feel happy. But the big flaw from these papers, projects and such were always turned in late because of my perfectionism. My friend knows the reason is because of that. I turn more than at least half the things I need to turn in late because of it. I don’t know if I have this problem though. Another thing I swear I have would be ADD or ADHD, because my focus is one the things that make me do bad in school. I’m not stupid, but my train of thought is very short. Noise is very distracting, though music is one of my escape factors, I cannot do something that requires much thinking such as writing an english paper or reading with music (though on some cases, instrumentals are always the best in helping me focus). The only time I know I focus through and through, where music flows through my pencil as it glides on paper, and where people’s voices cannot attack me, is when I sketch, and do art. Or when I’m reading something so eloquent and mind blowing whether it’s someone’s blog, or a good book like Tuesday’s with Morrie. But sometimes, I feel so confused, and I hate that I don’t have the ability, or even have at all a grasp on things. My life, I walk to school everyday, feeling stupid, seeing people successfully finish homework with a focused state of mind where I know and they know they did well. English may be one of my favourite to best subjects, but getting an A on my paper is rare, it was always B’s because my papers tended to not have focus. I hate not having a grasp on my life. No control, no knowing that I will succeed. I feel like as much as I can advise others about life and relationships, I don’t know what I am doing with myself. I am generally a happy person, but there are so many times where I don’t know what to do. Life is a confusing mess sometimes, I feel lost, but then there are times where I love the fact that I had the lucky chance to even live to meet the people I have met and encountered today.

  16. Vhart says:

    You are inspirational. I never thought just by enjoying a mashup would end me up thinking how we should all be passionate of our own craft and embracing what we thought as “weaknesses” and turn these things into our biggest strength just as how you manifested and use your OCPD to your advantage.

    Continue doing your magic! I already subscribed to your YT channel so i will be updated of your creativity!

    Bless you bro!

  17. welcome to China, hope you like the Great Wall

  18. Rebecca says:

    OCPD is a double edged sword and clearly, it has worked out well for you.. Thanks to Pop Danthology 2012, I got to ‘know’ you and your works of art. They’re brilliant and I look forward to more music mashups, original music, short films and beautiful photos. Your story inspires many.. Thanks for sharing! Saw you came to Singapore too.. Any chance for a live gig here some time? :)

  19. Kellie says:

    Hi Daniel, I also believe I landed on your site by divine intervention. Thank you for the gift of time you dedicate to sharing your journey and curating the content for this site with such care. I’m convinced you’re enabling healing for more people than you even realize. Sincerely, your words have shed light on frustration and devastation in my life I hadn’t previously understood – that alone is remarkable, but the way in which you lovingly and gently weave faith into the healing – it will be forever life changing for me and many others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It sounds cliche, but your story resonates with me on MANY levels. Although we’ve never met, I’m grateful for the friendship you’ve extended by publishing this shared human experience. If you’re ever in the Detroit area, please look me up.

  20. Toni says:

    Hi, soul mate!:) Nice to meet you. It’s very refreshing to know that exist people like you. I’m an HSP (hypersensitive symmetrical chaos in the one small, tiny box called the human body – ooo, how smart I am. :O :p. Joke). Best regard from one ultimately lonely journalist, who loves all humanity, but feels so alone – its mixed experience to be gifted – tremendous burden and exciting blessing at the same time. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ – or not? I’d say both.

    Tupac said: Only God can judge me, I’d say – Only God knows me, and I’m not ultimately alone.

    Cheers from Bosnia and Croatia!

  21. Christine says:

    I am deeply grateful to have found your list of OCPD’s gifts immediately after stumbling upon a description of the disorder that so aptly describes me. I was digging into coverage of a current event online; a commentator mentioned and defined OCPD. You can imagine how alarming it was to receive a pointed diagnosis unexpectedly, from the day’s news.

    I often question the distinction between a personality disorder and a personality. Your blog helps me accept that there may be one, but that the former is stigmatized, in part, because the positive traits of the condition are not widely recognized, if ever.

    Other comments note divine intervention. It was extremely comforting and hopeful to identify with OCPD’s positive traits just moments after being alarmed by identifying with so many negative traits that interfere with my daily living and greatest ambitions.

    Thank you, truly.

  22. KLA says:

    WELL TRAVELED, WELL EDUCATED, ARTISTIC, GOOD LOOKING BUT STILL….. OCPD
    Dear Daniel,
    I don’t know really what to say, I am stunned, by this wealth of information, and lost. I see your success and your strengths and I see my fiancee with similar strengths. A wealth of of gifted brilliance, an ivy league degree, MFA in art and all the resources, and wealthy contacts and finances, good looks, and family support one could ever ask for. I wish I could ask for advice but I know that is not your job. I wish he was younger, I wish he was excited about something. I wish we had friends. I see your photos, he takes beautiful photos like that, and we have visited half or more of the places you have, but one thing that is missing is people. You have people in your life in those photos, not just anybody, not just traveling hippies, but pretty people (!), and I imagine, intelligent people in those photos. He holds such high standards for peoples looks then also their intelligence that he has failed to make friends, thus the photos are void of people in saris, burkas, and bathing suits. We are currently living in a foreign country now, and we are just barley in our 30’s and there is so much time and I have only known about OCPD for less than 24 hours now (despite me having a BA in psych) and now that i have matched all these characteristics up to the man I have loved for 5 years, the man I am going to marry, I am baffled. He is in that sad depressed OCPD state. No friends, nothing meets his expectations, “life is beautiful then you die, who cares if I have surpassed the 6 fig income mark,.. whatever whatever whatever”. I told him about OCPD today very casually, very sweetly, very jokey joke, oh you know “all these names for everything” kind of way, just to not scare him. Just so I didn’t seem too serious or emo about it all and it went away like the tide, with a laugh, he even took the test with giggles. But you know, I know all the signs the symptoms, he is text book. He organizes his next novel for years before starting and then it’s not even a good idea anymore. He floats in the silicon valley industry even tho it’s void of true human experience. If he didn’t care, he would climb the ladder, but he does, he cares so much, but like many OCPD he is stuck. ME: begging for affection for years, he finally got it, it finally clicked, now all I have to do is gravitate toward his chest and he might even give a pat on the back for sympathy. He knows. he knows his flaws and the amazing thing is, he was smart enough to notice them and start working on them years ago. I was so impressed, I stayed. But now what. Now i know, it’s not autism, it’s not general oddness with bouts of overly cautious OCD, it is OCPD. I guess my biggest wonderment is, how did you make and keep friends? Were you open with them? Did you ever have a problem with friends? Why and how? I’m sorry Daniel, I know you must get so many questions, but please, help answer these two? If there is a guy out there that is most like you, it is my fiancee, good looking, brilliant, his life style envious of many people, but none the less, lonely, judgmental, too smart for his own good, and god-help-him so very sensitive. I can hear him sleeping on the balcony of our penthouse right now, (sounds awfully pretentious to say that) but what good is a balcony on a summer’s night in an amazing city, if all you can do is drowned your sorrow in sleep? I am patient, sensitive and willing to know how one amazing person can be so chained to a wall of insecurity. How can I help release him? I want to hear him scream!! Laugh!!! Sing!! yell!!!, anything any emotion will do, I just want to see him feel and have fun and feel loved.How could someone who thinks the world is so beautiful and would give so much to the people he knows, feel so alone? The doubt he has for everyone and everything! The offensive cold hearted comments he used to make at cocktail parties (he has stopped this now) the lists and lists and lists and planning for everything that used to happen or was going to happen. He is much better about all that now. I will never forget when he proposed to me, it was the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face in 5 years. How do I replicate that? I want to see him live. he deserves it. No one i have ever met, not in the remote places I’ve been to all over the world, has ever understood the beauty, the joy the world has to offer, like he does. Now if only he could actually enjoy it, if only he wasn’t just a spectator. Do you understand?
    American, Sleepless in Berlin, KL

    • Daniel Kim says:

      Thanks for sharing your story, KL. You said some pretty flattering things there :) Thank you. Loneliness is a normal human experience. It’s just much more intense for those of us who are extremely emotionally sensitive. Your fiancee needs to start thinking “I am not so alone.” He needs to believe that someone out there treasures and cherishes his innermost being. He needs to silence the voice in his head that tells him that he’s just far too different and no one will understand him.

      Sounds like your fiancee has had some very hurtful experiences with people, peers, friends, etc. Freedom to be himself with others will come as he works hard at making a daily effort to forgive all of those who wronged him in the past.

  23. Danny Kim says:

    Hi daniel!!!!Iam danny kim from south korea. OMG. Im so inspired. I first knew you from pop danthology. I really loved to listening to pop or electronic music and one they i heard about you and mashups. When i first watched pop danthology i couldnt say anything exept WOOOOW. Then i decided to be a fan of you. Oh did you recognized that my last name and yours are same??

  24. Mr. Will Remain-Nameless says:

    Umm…how are you able to afford living the type of lifestyle that you live? You definitely come across as someone from a middle – upper class family. I appreciate the fine work you have done / are doing with this blog; but not everyone is able to afford their own therapist or travel the world or finance a business or their own education. So I’m curious about your financial background (if you grew up in financial stability) and what your thoughts are with regards to people who have OCPD but are born into disenfranchised families or unstable situations.

    • Daniel Kim says:

      While it is true that I grew up with financial stability, the lifestyle that you see above is the result of my lack of ability to manage my money in a practical manner, my impulsivity, my insatiable curiosity, and my extreme passion for travel.

      People with OCPD tend to obsess over areas in their life that matter to them and neglect areas that do not matter to them. Money has never really mattered to me because I’ve always had it and it could never make me happy. As a result of my neglect in this important area, I get so terribly bored and unmotivated just thinking about saving money, investing money, managing money, keeping track of money… BORING! I don’t even bother to check if my employers are paying me correctly. I don’t even care to negotiate my salary. So although I may be a very driven expert in areas that matter to me, I am quite underdeveloped in the area of financial independence and wealth management. Secretly I hope one day I just make enough to leave that all to a professional so I don’t ever have to look at money.

      I think that people with OCPD who were born into disenfranchised families or unstable situations would not be as underdeveloped in this important area as I am. They would be able to teach their children how to manage their money well.

  25. Chris says:

    Amazing pictures,man!

  26. Resh Dollete says:

    Cool photos very handsome ! :D I fall inlove for a seconds :”> Anyway, when’s your birthday? I want to greet you. Love you and God bless!!!

  27. Kymberlie Joy says:

    I am so glad I stumbled on this page! I was really feeling down about discovering I have a personality disorder. While I am very much like described, I didn’t feel that it was wrong or that I was such a horrible person ad I need drugs and therapy like all the information out there says about OCPD. You get it! God has begun an amazing awareness of who I am. I felt him saying that he made me this way, now I just need to be fine tuned. I was born this way. My mom tells me stories of before I even started school I was cleaning and upset with her that she didn’t clean like I wanted. In 1st grade I told her I was “more mature” than her. I have pushed myself too hard and have had medical problems, but that is how I am now able to learn. I am getting my AA this fall and going to get my B.A., then PH.D in Psychology. God has chosen my path and I now know what I must do. Your words made me cry, which we all know is hard for us to do! I do feel more than anyone could imagine, I am not lacking in emotion. I do not show emotion because it is so strong. I have always felt the pain of those around me, I want so bad to help! I am and feel just like you described! I have been given a gift from God and even Superman had to learn how to handle his powers! I have wanted to be the old me, but now see and feel that I am going to be a better me! I will use this Gift from God and make a difference!! Thank-You!!

  28. Lauren Zas Sanz says:

    Thank you for your blog. I am 27yrs old, from Cape Town South Africa (your picture of Cape Town is exactly where I live). I have recently started researching ocpd after being diagnosed with it and stumbled across your site. I decided to read your “about me” to see the person behind the writing first and I look forward to reading your blogs. I left a friend’s place in tears as I opened up about my disorder and how much I’ve always felt my personality is a burden. I hate it. I strive to be perfect and end up the opposite. I haven’t read your addictions-i went on to drugs to research to try help addicts(or so I justified) , and ended up using it to be more productive- which turned counter-productive as I had a blackout from exhaustion at 21, my immune system crashed at 22, and my nervous system at 23. And then to top it off I overdosed at 24, landed up on life support and in a coma for 11 days and was sent to rehab-which is where I learnt for the first time that I had ocpd. And so I look forward to finding out how this burden may actually be a blessing. Thank you.

  29. Mingzhu He says:

    Daniel,

    Stumbled upon your blog from a simple Google search. Just have to say that everything on your “About Me” page resonates with me. It is a bit surreal and definitely informative. I am Chinese, grew up cross Asia and the US. I was rather introverted as a child but have always been an overachieving/ active person starting teenage years and have faced many of the similar struggles you describe here, but also many joys from creativity, productivity and the ability to see connections across multiple disciplines. I am also turning 28 this year, have been on a self reflective journey starting college, but really started to take more action two years ago to become self aware and mindful of my actions. During this fairly long process, I have read through different schools of thoughts in psychology, sociology, religion across cultures and traveled a bunch. Just this year I have come to find mindfulness practices rather helpful in my case of making friends/ making peace with negative human emotions and let them run their course as you described in the “Guilt from being unproductive” post.

    Anyway, just want to say that thanks for sharing and always great to meet others that share similar life experiences and internal journeys. After all, how amazing is it that we are all alive at the same blip of a moment in this vast continuum of time?

    Keep up the good work,
    Ming

  30. Willow Baum says:

    Daniel — thank you for the gifts of Pop Danthology and leading many to your story, and the cosmic truth that [one's] “value is not something that I must create through my performance, but something intrinsic that has always been a part of me, something that can never be taken away.” Best to you in 2014. Willow

  31. Ela says:

    I think you are obsoletely PHENOMENAL. I can’t express how much I am obsessed with your work. I saw your 2013 mashup video and I see that you are a Michael Jackson fan. This is more so a request for all the MJ fans worldwide, I think your vision and sound is GENIUS and I’m wondering if you could make a MJ mashup of all his videos combined into ONE. Not just some of his videos but literarily all of his videos he has done throughout his career since becoming a solo artist. It could be a “MJ throughout the years musically” kind of video. It could be that video parents show to their kids and the new generation why MJ is the greatest of all time! His legacy shall go on. It will be the icing on the cake, the cherry on top!

  32. MVK says:

    I came here to request a full song remix of Treasure + Suit & tie (i know thats a big request and a long shot) but after seeing all this, I have SO many questions. I have some of the problems in common with you and KLA’s fiancee and don’t know what to do with them + my being in a developing nation (India) doesn’t help where most people deal with basic problems as hunger, corruption and in short, a LIFE. I’m an undergrad now and I’ve haven’t found a single person who shares my interests (not that there are many). Its been three and half years now and lately I’ve been losing motivation/interest/hope in everything – education/food/entertainment/FUTURE. I crave for a female presence in my life but have had absolutely none until now. Perhaps my Inhibition/Introversion + a repressive/inhibited/uneducated society + my constant fatigue (I’m 20 kgs underweight) doesn’t help either. All this led everyone I know (including my father) to think of me as “different”. Maybe the biggest problem is, no one seems to be able to understand a person with different views, even my current generation (perhaps I’m with the wrong people?). Understand that its probably okay to have a personality like mine. That I do want to “fit in”. I’m tired of saying and being Independent and my friends not calling me to basic hangouts thinking I wouldn’t want to be there anyway .I like them but I still feel lonely. I’ve lost all hopes in this country and hence applied to US universities, ironically not for education (I regret every single day what I’m studying now – Engineering, but that’s one of the two paths to a decent life here in India) but to have a change in environment. To be in a place where people actually know the terms “Introversion”, “Uninhibition”, “Promiscuity”, “Sexual Liberty” and for that matter “LIBERTY”. I’m in awe of your life (seeing your pics, your mashups, education, friends, money, multiple talents) and to be fair, you could have done a lot worse (not to undermine your problems, perhaps you doing well is a result of handling problems). Frankly, I’ve lost my point in writing this comment. I’m just venting out and don’t know why. Hoping to find a connection in someway I guess.

  33. I really relate to your story. The compliments, performance determining value, the feelings of inadequacy and invalidation from others… Stumbled upon this site after searching around for info about OCPD, which I believe is what I have been suffering from. I have been diagnosed with OCD, but I think it’s extremely possible I also have OCPD. I’m 21 years old now. Half Asian (Filipino) and half Caucasian (American, but Russian-Jewish ancestry– not far back at all in generations, actually). Always was praised and am still getting praised in college, despite my own opinion that I’ve been such a failure.

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences via this blog. It makes me feel not so alone, and like I’m not crazy for my thoughts and feelings. Love your pictures, by the way! :) I will continue to look around here, and I’ll share some of this with my mom who is kind of one of the only people in my life whom I trust with matters like this.

    Again, thank you. :3

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