hi, i,m writing an ebook about horading for a non-profit org and was hoping to use an image from your blog. the image in question is http://giftofocpd.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/hoarding.jpg?w=580.
is it alright if i do?
Yes, you may use any of my images for non-profit purposes. Otherwise, you will have to contact the original owners of the images and I do not keep a record of those details. All I do is search images on Google and then change the colours to match the colours of my blog.
Hi, I’ve been reading all your posts and I found them very refreshing. I never before thought of my OCPD as a gift. Thank you!
I have a questions, which I can’t, at the moment, answer – WHY does an OCPD person cling to ethics or morals so much? Why does he do this? What are the motives to do this?
Yes, I would like to know this too…why ?
I do plan to write a whole blog post on that but there’s just still some topics I want to cover before I get to that one. I believe our passion for ethics and morals has a lot to do with our “left brain dominance” (http://giftofocpd.com/2012/03/28/leftbraindominance/). Our “left brain” causes us to have a natural love for order… Not just the order that results from arranging things in our kitchen in a certain way, but also the order that results from every individual behaving in a way certain way too. Just as we see how the kitchen could be better, we also see how the world could be better.
Being married to an OCPD husband for 11 years, I’d love for you to speak to the need of an OCPDer to open their eyes to how offensive and hurtful their actions can be to those around them without them even being aware of it and a little insight into how they need to ask for forgiveness…beyond, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” I find it very challenging for my husband to see how his perfectionism breaks people down and it is even harder for him to admit to even once he sees the situation.
Thank you for your website, most ocpd sites are sad and encourage just running from a relationship with an OCPDer. I’m so grateful to see you share the good sides of this situation and real insight into helping us cope.
CH, I just wanted to say that you’re an amazing person for being beside your husband throughout the years, and searching for ways to improve the relationship. Having a mother who suffers from OCPD, I understand how much strain this condition can put on any relationship.
I think the question that needs to be asked is whether or not the troubled individual realizes that he/she has OCPD and is willing to make changes for the sake of the family. If the individual doesn’t admit to it, is there anything we can do? I would appreciate suggestions.
Several years go, I noticed that I, too, was exhibiting symptoms of OCPD, and I took actions. A great book that helped me immensely was The Power of Empathy by Ciaramicoli and Ketcham. For me, empathy really was the answer when it comes to relationships.
Today, I can pretty much handle my OCPD, after all, knowing your enemy wins you half the battle; and if you look at the from another perspective, it can indeed be a gift. However, there are still rainy days, but at least I know how to protect the people I love from this disorder.
Best of luck and never give up.
I think it would be a good idea for you to write something here about OCPD and self-mutilation. Usually as an extension of perfectionism to the bodies, many people with OCPD tend to bit their nails, pull their hair, pick at their skin or scabs, or even develop eating disorders as well.
Just a suggestion, but I think several people here would appreciate it. Myself included.
Ah yes thank you for the great suggestions :)
I have added them on my list of things to write about (the list is LONG). I don’t think I’ll ever run out of things to write about on OCPD haha.
Do you haveany shows coming up as a DJ or musical director (of that sort) following your 2012 mash up songs success?
Yes after Pop Danthology I worked with Ultra Music. I have been offered a lot of exciting overseas DJ gigs but I have not Dj’ed in so long that taking these opportunities would require me to familiarize myself with all the new equipment and software (I used to DJ back when equipment was different and there was no software).
Daniel when are you planing to upload pop dan thology 2013 toyou tube and why dont you ask your fans what songs should you put for example can you please please please put (The Summer Set – “Boomerang”)
I will probably upload it closer to the end of the year.
I’m looking to do some research on this personality disorder this summer, because I think I might be struggling with it as well. However It’s frustrating to me because I can’t seem to find any comparisons to what it’s like to be ‘normal’. All the symptoms seem to fit my personality, but I’m not sure I can trust my own judgment.
As helpful as your blog has been, I’m still not reassured. I was wondering what sources you found helpful. Are there any books or such you could recommend?
Hmmmm. I thought “The Highly Sensitive Person” and “Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults” were helpful books.
When I recall/remember things, I am usually skeptical if I recall/remember it right. For example, when I recall/remember a word, I usually check the dictionary to confirm its meaning, and I end up being right most of the time. Why can’t I just trust my memory? Why do I need to confirm it all the time? Thank you in advance!
PS. Your site is just the most awesome site out there about OCPD. I would like to personally thank you for helping me understand myself better through your posts/articles. Please keep up the good work.
Thank you Abdul! Doubt, self-doubt is a compulsion as well. You keep on doing and it becomes a part of you. The feeling of doubt will continue to rob you of your confidence in your knowledge as long as you keep on letting yourself doubt and constantly check as a way of controlling your fears of being wrong. Try to resist checking, tell yourself that it’s going to be ok even if you’re wrong, and make a conscious effort to think more confidently and assertively.
As many have said here, your blog is just what I’ve been looking for…a true moment of enlightenment and clarity. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years and I have self diagnosed him several years back as OCPD and feel stronger than ever now since reading your blog that he is. My question is…as a spouse with this knowledge how do I encourage him to begin the journey that I know will set him free?
Show him how awesome his life can be if he frees himself from OCPD.
Hello there, pal. It’s me again, and I need your help. I have problems about perfectionism that interferes with task completion. When I’m at work, I check my grammar and sentence construction a lot of times making sure they’re perfectly fine. I do things like this (e.g., constantly checking and rechecking things to be sure I get it right). As a result, I usually don’t meet the 1-hour time frame allotted for the work. I believe this has something to do with passion for excellence, fear of making mistakes, and the need for control. But how exactly can I overcome this? Thank you so much in advance, and God bless you and your crafts.
Thank you Abdul. The best way to get rid of your fear is by letting go of your control (in this case, perfectionism) and facing your fear. Go ahead, take a chance, and submit your work by your given deadline. Calm yourself down and have faith that everything will be ok. You really need to experience for yourself that everything will be ok. But it is your control that is robbing you of this freeing experience. Good luck!
Hey Daniel. I stumbled on this website while researching for info about OCPD. A close friend is struggling with the negative consequences of his nature, in particular, with his personal relationships. In fact, his need for excellence in school and personal performance has caused a rift in our relationship due to “not enough time.” He used to be a very close friend, and I don’t want to throw away a good friendship, but I’m not sure how to get him to realize the importance of people as opposed to simply accomplishments. He didn’t used to be this way, but more and more he is isolating himself from true relationships because of
a lack of trust and a lack of control in those relationships. Is there any way for me to encourage him in a positive way to have a more balanced outlook and not alienate the very people who care for him the most? I would appreciate any suggestions you may have. Thanks!
Hi, your blog is inspiring me, I don’t have any question but I just want to say is God bless always!!!!! :) I can’t get enough of you and your songs :D stay healthy :)
Thank you Resh!
I have trouble understanding your take on OCPD sufferers having great empathy with my husband who has OCPD lacks empathy and can’t communicate he also lacks the ability to be selfless in my times of need.The need to be right or in control always outweighs the issues we are discussing in our relationship. And sarcasm is his favourite form of communication.
Please read my my post on empathy (http://giftofocpd.com/2013/02/19/empathy/). When an OCPDer is in such an extreme state of survival because of all their anxiety/fear, there is no room for empathy, selflessless, and flexibility. Remove that anxiety/fear and you got yourself someone with great empathy, selflessness, and flexibility.
hi daniel. i was wondering if you could do a post about failure, how people with ocpd respond, and how to move past it. i feel as though any small failure will blind me from seeing any of my big successes even if i know they are there. thanks. (your blog has helped me a lot)
Why is workaholicism a destructive drug when in fact it brings you success? Like Tesla – he is the most workaholic man I know.
Workaholism wrecks your health, relationships, and robs you of your opportunity to enjoy all the beauties of a balanced life. Tesla didn’t have any real relationships to even ruin.
“The above description is the true identity of people with OCPD. This identity, however, gets lost and distorted by trauma, fear, and lies. Fortunately, these things can all be worked out and the true identity of people with OCPD can be restored.”
Do you mean that the identity (champion of excellence, very logical, big-hearted) is lost when there is fear?
In my case, I can still see myself as being a champion of excellence, being a very logical person, as having a big heart. Even if there are still fears inside me. (I know there are fears because I execute a lot of control /coping mechanisms though I have given up some).
What does this mean? I’m confused. I have fears but still I am excellent, logical, and big-hearted? How come? I thought the identity is lost because of fears? Does this mean I just have a mild OCPD? Does this mean that those suffering from severe OCPD have their indentities lost?
Please. Thank you Daniel.
I stumbled upon your blog. Wonderful! I believe my husband suffers from OCPD. Have you heard this before? “Generally two hallmark thinking styles are pervasive for persons who suffer this condition. The primary manifestations of OCPD entail either a bent toward perfectionistic standards or righteous indignation” & “Persons with OCPD generally lean toward one of these perspectives or another. In some cases both perspectives are of equal magnitude”.
He follows the perfectionist branch to a T but doesn’t tend to push his morals on others too much. Anyway! I was searching your blog for your treatment. Do you have recommendations? He said he would go to counseling but I can’t find a counselor that treats OCPD, it’s all OCD. Maybe I should just be looking for a particular treatment type and not a counselor who specializes in OCPD. Any suggestions you have would be helpful, I don’t know how much longer I can help him. Thanks!
Psychodynamic psychotherapy focused on getting in touch with emotions
Would you please Upload a Torrent file and contains all of the offcial music you use in PopDanthology 2013 :D Thank You Mr.KIMazing :D
I wanted to write, and thank you for writing this blog. I am currently experiencing a powerful epiphany. I was tested and confirmed gifted in elementary school. As an adult I have struggled with many things ending up with some really crappy self-esteem, and ocpd problems. Until I started reading your blog it never occurred to me that the gifted child grows into the gifted adult. I was put into the gifted program that had some challenges to keep us a bit more stimulated as a child, but it was never explained to me why I was gifted, what made me different, and how I might face challenges that would be different from the average person. Now, I’m realizing maybe I’m not a horrible terrible no good very bad person, maybe I’m just different, and some of my natural tendencies have gotten out of control because I had no idea how to handle my “gifts”. I can’t explain to you how relieved I feel to come to the conclusion that maybe it’s not my fault. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your viewpoints and knowledge with people like me, who have been really struggling and suffering for their whole lives.
I don’t know if I suffer from ADHD or OCPD but I do suffer from the intolerance to boredom that you talked about in your “Psychology of Pop Danthology” video, I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago, and have been on medication ever since. Could you share some reading material on the Exposure-based therapy that you talked about in the video? I would really like to try it out since the intolerance to boredom is really wreaking havoc on both my professional and personal life. I do understand that you’re not a full-time counsellor but I would appreciate anything that you could share. Thank you.
Sorry no books coming to my mind. It’s just exposing yourself to the thing which makes you uncomfortable and building up your tolerance for it.
I’m from Taiwan, sorry in advance if my English is not perfect (omg this is one of the symptoms, isn’t it!?).
I came across this website through Pop Danthology (Amazing work!) and “The Psychology of Pop Danthology” (It is like looking back at my childhood!)
When I look through this website (I got tears in my eyes!), I have most of the symptoms mentioned, but milder. Does OCPD need to be diagnose by a doctor? Or we can self diagnose?
I tried to find more information in Chinese, but it is most in theory and all the article is similar. On one of the newspaper, a doctor mentions that there is no research on OCPD in Taiwan.
Therefore I have this idea of translating your video and blog into Chinese, so it can help more people, but I want to have your permission first, so if you ever read this message, please let me know, thank you very much!
(this idea is encouraged by my mother, she told me back then, they don’t have access to so many information, and if she know more about OCPD, she might have help me more. She is the best mother, who accept me of who i am, even though she don’t know about OCPD)
(check numerous times before posting this, ha ha)
Thank you again!
You may translate it for non-commercial purposes and you will reference back to me and my writing. Thank you.
Nice to see so many posts about ocpd.Keep up the good work.
It would be great if you share some of your wisdom about the physical manifestations of Ocpd. Do you suffer from weakness, headache or any other ailment due to ocpd??
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